Thanks, The Onion, for reminding us we don’t have to run fast — my new motto

The Onion used a generic sprinter on a generic track. I used reverse-image search but couldn't find an ID for him.

With a heads up from Herb K, I learned of a Thursday post in The Onion that made me smile. The headline: “Sprinter Feels Like An Idiot After Finding Out About Jogging.” Of course, the reverse holds as well: “Marathoner Feels Like An Idiot After Finding Out About Sprinting.” In the meantime, I’m adopting the best of both worlds — running short distances slowly. What led YOU to choose your event?

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About the Author

Ken Stone
Ken has followed track as an athlete, writer and webmaster since the late 1960s, and saw most sessions of track and field at the 1984 Los Angeles and 1996 Atlanta Olympics. He also attended the 1988, 1992, 2000, 2004, 2008 and 2012 Trials. He worked for 10 newspapers and now reports for Times of San Diego. Write him at or Story tips always welcome!

2 Comments on "Thanks, The Onion, for reminding us we don’t have to run fast — my new motto"

  1. Brian McKinley | October 20, 2018 at 4:51 pm | Reply

    Junior year in high school, my track coach said anybody could try the hurdles in practice. They were set up on the grass football field. I’m not sure I ever ran the highs faster than that first try in practice. It has been the only thing, athletic or otherwise, that came completely naturally for me. Every other endeavor requires training. We should each get at least one freebie like this, shouldn’t we?

  2. “What led YOU to choose your event?” That’s a nice question!
    High jump, because it looked like my best discipline. (And still is.)
    Javelin because it could be done with high jump spikes, back in 2005, San Sebastian. We would go walking in the mountains afterwards, and carrying just one pair of spikes in my back pack was enough. After choosing the event at age 55 I went from 22 to 35 metres, amazing.

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